GNS Raiders finals bid 2008

The respectable 1pm start boded well for a team of alcoholic reprobates such as ours, taking to the field in the semi-finals against the intolerable nancy-pantses of Mosman 2 yesterday.

In usual form, the first half was hard slog for us, running into the low winter sun and finding the Mosman tackle sturdier than we remembered. The action mostly took place in our defending D, reducing our backs to a state of spluttering, red-faced exhaustion by half time. Fortunately, what flimsy attempts at scoring were made, our bold goalie Gracie sent packing with an allegorical boot, as if right up the frilly-skirted Mosman bum.

After a peppery half-time pep talk from the co-aches Hannah & Tash, the second half saw Gordon fire right up. Breakaways came thick and fast. Some terrible calls (or lack thereof) by the androgynous umpires were not enough to douse spirits. The Mosman forwards started to flag, and yet, like a straight guy at a film festival, Gordon just couldn’t seem to score.

And then, with 10 minutes left on the clock and overtime seemingly a sure thing, a melodic crack of ball-on-backboard echoed across the grounds, as a short corner was converted beautifully and decisively for the first goal of the game. By Gordon. A real butt-slapping, group-hugging, cigarette-in-bed crowd pleaser, if we do say so ourselves.

Despite a determined surge of vengeance from Mosman, we managed to dig in and stave off a bitter reprisal. Then, with just 3 minutes remaining, almost as if still intoxicated with the heady fumes of the first success, a second goal from Gordon, to reinforce our ascendancy, demoralise the Mosman namby-pam, and secure our place in the minor finals this Sunday.

And next, we face our fiercest foe, the indomitable (pre-op) Hornsby RSL ‘girls’. Can Gordon turn back the steady tide of history and do the undone? Can we finally stop the marauding blue and gold in their tracks? Though we moved up a grade this year, will we find ourselves once again facing the formidable Mirrabooka hockey club, in the 2008 Grand Finals on the 31st? Only the passage of time can answer. Only a miracle (or performance enhancing drugs) will make assured our success.