Things I have learnt and experienced
- People are strange - you think your neighbourhood is filled with normal people like yourself - It is not.
- The statement of "I don't want your bloody form leave it under the door" not only makes no sense, when followed by the slamming the door is just plain rude
- No I don't want $2
- The question of how many Males and Females will be here next Tuesday should not be followed with the folowing "David Jones, the Gas bill, Other Bills, not many people write letters anymore do they, the gas bill, some shopping letters, david jones, the gas bill some catalouges the phone bill, the gas bill" "OK that's enough"
- No I don't think your mother will over stay her "tourist visa", yes you still need to count her even if she is going to China next year - Who are we kidding Amanda Vanstone will get your Census form and lock your mother up in a WA concentration camp even though she is 86 and enjoying her first holiday - I will pick that form up Sunday week, have a great night.
- Please tell me in detail where you were for the last 3 cenuses I care. You may think that I am doing this to fund a ski trip to Canada - wrong I say - It is so i can listen to you tell me that you were overseas for the '91 count. Just take the damn forms and do the E census so that we never meet again
- Just letting you know that you can complete the census on line this year -
- House Holder "why would I put it on the washing line"
- Nick "Sorry I meant the internet"
- HH "I know It was a joke"
- Nick death stares bike riding Kiwi
- HH complies with further instructions without attempts of humour
- Ring the census help line quote the 15 digit number on your form and then ask for a new form because you can't read the number (I would understand it is my writting which is no Monet but they quote the number so i know which house it was to replace ARRRGGGHHH)
- Yes children count
- How many males and how many females? , "1 of each and a baby" You have one of the genderless babies too? There are about 76 in a 2 block radius. Do parents not check this anymore. I'm sure it was one of the first things I check when someone spawns.
- You can get stickers for your front door instructing the Fire Brigade in an emergency how many cats, dogs, birds and other animals you have and need to be rescued. Maybe this sticker should read in which order to save things - do you get Great Aunt Esme out of the back room before the Budgie?
227 out of 383 form delivered can't wait till tomorrow. Maybe someone from ABS will find this post and I will get fired?
Finally
Do not get to know your neighbours. Stick to friends you meet on picnic tables in your youth, turns out you did not do too bad after all.
5 comments:
Oh Nicky! You really are getting to know the seamy underbelly of suburbia. So much banality, such adequate fertility.
I would also like to point out that Gretta neglected her post yesterday. And it's not like she has anything better or more important to do!
Oi Lady! While it is true that I have nothing better to do at this moment in my life...it is also true that some strange people who work for a rather large organisation seem to think that by paying me I will actually attend the meetings they set up...funny thing this work stuff and even though it is not "better" it does take priority.
Nicky! very amusing! I love the genderless baby comment and I'm not sure how I should feel about that last comment??!!
I saying your lovely and not at all freaky unlike the vast majority of people out there...
I love it nick, fill us in on any other freaks.
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