They claim that high heels are bad for us. They say that the beauty and class of a well crafted high heel can cause all manner of undesirable pathologies, including toe deformities, corns and calluses, ankle equinus, considerable lower back pain and even misalignment of the back and hips. But I ask you, can we believe these claims from a profession who, let’s face it, aren’t even doctors?
They claim that high heels are purely decorative. They claim that high heels merely act to eroticize the legs by plantarflexing the ankle joints, activating gluteal muscles and making breasts more prominent via spinal lordosis. They seek to strip high heels of their functional purpose, but clearly podiatrists are not a good foot shorter than the average female and don’t know the emotional suffering of being ignored trying to procure cocktails from a busy bar or the physical strain of craning to give a kiss to a 6’-something, handsome, intelligent, funny and altogether brilliant guy.
And I ask you, what value can one put on art? Surely it is as priceless as a starry sky, a new born lamb, a sufferer’s death, a stormy sea. Without it, we would be merely animals. And how much closer to the ground?
12 comments:
Well, looking at that diagram I would conclude that high heels give you an excellent arse, slightly saggy tits and a double chin. I also prefer women who have arms, but as neither have them its a moot point.
I don't know who this bloke is you're talking about, but it ends here, no matter how great he is. You're engaged to me.
can we have a clause in there for women who are already as tall, or taller than the average woman, but still absolutely, positively, unarguably must have heels?
Clearly there is a lot of quackery going on in that profession.
As a not-very-height-challenged female, I would argue that a gorgeous pair of heels is so much more than a height booster, they also play a very important role in positive body image and self esteem. I've not heard of sudden and acute feelings of fabulousness emanating from a pair of Kumfs, no matter how lovely a shade of slightly-off-red. Show me a woman clad in EasySteps who smiles down at her feet, bends her ankle and wiggles her toes just to admire the gorgeous thing on her foot. I think not.
"Purely decorative", my arse! They're obviously women-hating misogynists, trying to put us back into the kitchens and take away our basic human rights. We can't stand for this anymore. Let us march, united in stilettos! (And wedges- are they as popular in Australia as they are here? Or maybe they're waiting for summer there? Here it's all wedges and espadrilles and crochet at the moment, often all three together.)
Jenny, you are inspirational. I will follow you to the ends of the earth. In thongs.
I will follow you for a short time in stilettos, then slip into thongs so as not to destroy the heels on the rough ground!
Hurrah for brave women fighting the good fight!
You people need a 12 step program.
Isn't the first step admitting you have a problem? I really don't think that kind of plan is going to work...
Electric shock therapy it is then!
Eclectic shop therapy sounds WONDERFUL!
You only see what you want to see.
Sarah - I'm 6'3" (191 cm Jenny)
Wedges are for the spring racing carnival - you don't want your heel sinking into the grass of Royal Randwick or Flemington
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