Thrusday Dad Joke.

Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin.
Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......
BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........

Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.
BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........

He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly.... It was a coffin.

Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.
BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........

He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster...........
BUMP,BUMP....... BUMP,BUMP....... BUMP,BUMP........

The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him......
BUMP........BUMP...BUMP... BUMP........BUMP...BUMP... BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...

He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..... BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..... BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....

Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, his hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him.

He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase.....
BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........
BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges.....
The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.
BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet......
He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin.........still it came ........
BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it .....still it came
BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ......still it came......
BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed some Benalin cough mixture and threw it........
Then the coffin stopped.

Just being neighbourly

A Singapore man faces a possible jail term for freeloading off his neighbours wireless Internet says the SMH, now that's not something any of us would consider doing is it?

GOOOOOOOOOOONE!

After nearly 4 years, today I said goodbye to MSDA!

Thank the Lord I'm outta there!

Tipping the taxi driver (as a last FU to the corporate beast) on cabcharge: $10
Emptying my car of promo material to keep me stocked up for years in pens: free

Systematically phoning every representative, manager, marketer and so on and poach as many as I can? Priceless!

So as a little housekeeping note. Please do not call me on my mobile anymore. I will get a temporary number set up and will let you know what it is when that happens. Also I will no longer be the designated driver...unless someone lets me drive their car....or until I get my new one.

So long to the free ride....hello to sanity!

Happy Birthday day Shazza

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. happy birthday dear shazzzzzaaaaa. happy birthday to you.

It's on like donkey kong.

5th, 6th and 7th of Jan - Wollombi

As I am on holidays I'm just going to assume everyone is ;) How about:

Head up Thurday night and meet there for Dinner at the pub in Wollombi and drive to the house together, as it is a little hard to find.



Friday - Laze at the house (and any Friday arrivals can rock up). Eat/play some board games/watch matt sleep.



Satuday - The Hunter Valley for a bit of a drink and then dinner down there too.
Sunday - Bit of a relax and head home.

How does that all sound?

The details ( From last time)
There are two bedrooms with beds (bags one), bathroom, large living room and a kitchen. There is also a large area of grass and a big undercover balcony. So you can
1) if your quick and share the bed with someone, bags the bed
2) Sleep in the lounge room with whatever you bring up with you
3) Camp under the balcony
4) Camp outside.
So there should be plenty of room for all.

BTW1 the last 6km is dirt track so if you are worried about driving on it, car pool with someone with a work car that they have to return soon anyway ;) Shari's car has made it OK, so everyone should be fine though.
BTW2 The place is on tank water and solar power. The powers not a big deal, we should be fine but you can't have 8 showers a day.
BTW3 Matts smells.

In So Far:
John
Shari
Margs
Flit
Sarah (Friday)
Noodle (Friday)
Matt