One of my second cousins over in WA somehow found me on facebook (I blame my brother and his relatively uncommon first name) and consequently assails me with status updates that show the most blatant contempt for literacy imaginable.
My fingers twitch with the urge to leave a correct English interpretation in the comments section of each one. Maybe even peppered with a little appropriate punctuation. I resist. What I could not resist, however, is gathering a small sample here to sate the pernickety old woman bristling inside me. I quote verbatim:
whoop whop can wait ill i get back da mandurah going to party wit my gurl kiara love ya chick kinky ways lmao jokes
cant wait to get my freak on in emerald tomorrow night whoop whoop
im off to vedio easy so bored in this town cant wait till im aloud back at the pubs
so over the weather in blackwater it rains it stops it rains it stop u dont know wen it right to leave the house with out getting wet
thankyou everyone for the birthday wishes be thinking of use while im getting drunk wish it was with use but
im off too bed like a good gurl now all i need now is someone beside to spank me and tell me im not lmao jokes pplz love use all nitey nite
OK Sarah. Unclench. Be cool.
7 comments:
yeah, best keep that to yourself. you might need her organs one day.
Oh it's a girl?
no it's a gurl
use guys lmao
whoop whoop vedio easy!
Imagine if she googled her own status! lmao!
Argh! Painful. My cousin posted this on my fb:
just one thing yor forgetin. you can't go sledgin! me and pip went on sleepin bags cos we had no sledge. stil good tho. i see your hair is pink asit for party or ya kei it cosi think it looks good.
Gah!
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