Don't forget the Dad jokes!

Hey All,

Just a quick reminder that your Dad jokes need to be in today if they are to appear in tomorrow's 'Wednesday Dad Joke' segment!

Send to bryan_foley@hotmail.com

Back to School

The school holidays have come to an end, and this means its now time to start my new job.

It has been great having a long break (4 weeks) from work, but now the time has come to pack the school bag and return to my old school, where i will be the science teacher for years 7-10. Im looking forward to starting my new career and im sure many of you will hear about the craziness, adventures and experiences (and long holidays) im to endure in the future. so stay tuned!

Chinese New Years Eve, Eve Celebrations.

Friday was the eve of the eve of chinese new year and some members of the SRF headed down to chinatown to join in on the celebrations.

The night started at hippo lounge for a drink, then we headed down to belmore park to the hawker's central food markets. There were several food stalls from various restaurants around Sydney, serving a number of asian dishes. So we got a bite to eat and enjoyed the atmosphere of chinese women singing, dancing etc.

Here is Matt and Flit with the big cock (last year was the year of the rooster).

We were making our way down to chinatown for the night markets when we came across a guy making balloon animals. they were the most amazing balloon animal creations i and everyone else had ever seen, and he was so fast at making them too. margaret couldnt resist and chose the road runner for herself. He was very impressive.

The chinatown markets were a hive of activity with stalls selling food, lanteens, toys, games etc. Several of us made some purchases for example...... a big pencil for trivia.

The star bar was the next destination, where many drinks and jokes were had, to the early hours of the morning.

It was a great night and i wish a happy new year to all.

A breakfast review

After reading Margaret's less than favourable review of Jordan's, I thought I might post my own little review of The Book Kitchen on Devonshire Street in Surry Hills.

After a bit of a drunken evening, I was feeling a bit worse for wear on Australia Day so decided a foray to the beach was in order. Amy and I headed out and decided to get some breakfast on the way.

I'd never been to The Book Kitchen but had heard good things about the ambience and the quality of the food so we rocked up there for the breakfast rush hour at about 10 am. The place was packed but fortunately we snagged a seat as soon as we arrived.
There was a great vibe in the place and along one wall, a bookshelf diplaying a great range of cookbooks for sale.

It took a while for the waitress to realise that we were there in the chaos but we eventually caught her eye and managed to order. We decided to follow the lead of the family sat next to us and order the true test of a good restaurant; the simple bacon and scrambled eggs. We were not disappointed! The food was sensational and both Amy and I stuffed ourselves. Amy had the hand sliced smoked salmon instead of bacon and it was truly delicious.

The coffee was fantastic; the food, awesome and although a little slow, the service was good. The price was pretty good (bill came to a little over $30) and I would most definately recommend the place to all.

www.thebookkitchen.com.au

Taking the bad with the good.

No reviewer can be taken seriously if they only ever spout about the great restaurants. I post today (not happily) about a rather crap experience we had on Wednesday night.

Seeing as we didn't have to work on the Thursday (Australia Day...woohoo!) we decided to splurge and go for a good restaurant to kick back and relax. Well...that's what we thought. Feeling like seafood we headed for Jordan's at Darling Harbour. This should have been the first tip off...Darling Harbour! Never expect greatness there...It is for the tourists and boy to we rip them off!

From outside this establishment, things looked promising. Stepping inside, however, revealed another story. We should have turned around then and walked out, but we didn't. Firstly we couldn't eat outside as it was closed (so much for the spectacular views they tout in their write ups), the floor inside was a spackled blue and white faux granite, which looked about as faux as you can get. The seats were plastic and would look more at home out the front of the local pizza takeaway shop. The tables were brown wood laminate, totally at odds with the chairs and way too low to be comfortable. And I've only started on the furniture!!!

The service started out ok and any criticisms I had about the furniture were dismissed as superficial. That was until the food came! It looked rather impressive, a two-tiered mass of seafood topped with "fresh" prawns. I must say, it looked a hell of a lot better than it tasted. The prawns were muddy, the mussels unwashed and furry, the oysters bland. While Flit enjoyed the lobster I found it tasteless...but then again I'm not a huge lobster fan. We both agreed the crab and the south coast bugs were tasty. Oh and the chips were those good fat ones! That was about the extent of the praise I wish to give this place. The wine list was overpriced (Evans & Tate classic was about $40 a bottle), and the service went seriously downhill after they took our order. Not only did they not give us crab eating utensils, but it took me about 10 minutes to attempt to catch a waiter to get us some, eventually I gave up and went and got them myself!

The bill arrived and we were very deliberate in not giving them a single cent in tip. Never eat here, it is crap and expensive. Now I have to take extra care when choosing our next venue so I can erase this one!

The Wednesday 'Dad Joke'

Hi All,

A new blog segment was briefly discussed over a few jars at Trivia a week or so ago and I thought I'd try to put it into action.

Suggestions for the Wednesday 'Dad Joke' can be e-mailed to me at bryan_foley@hotmail.com and the winners will be posted.

Here's this week's entry... Enjoy!

Douglas the Crab

Douglas the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly,
deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an
idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Douglas
in tears.
"We can't see each other any more..." she sobbed.
"Why?" gasped Douglas.
"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims
you are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are the
lowest class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry
someone who can only walk sideways."
Douglas was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the
darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic
oblivion.
That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters
came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster
Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her
father's side, inconsolable.
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Douglas the crab strode in.
The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and
the King Lobster rose from his throne.
Slowly, painstakingly, Douglas the crab made his way across the
floor.......and all could see that he was walking, not
sideways............but FORWARDS.........Yes FORWARDS, one claw
after
another!!
Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he
looked
the King lobster in the eye.


There was a deadly hush..................................




For quite a while...........................




Finally, the crab spoke.......




.........................................




.........................................


"F-ck, I'm pissed."

Minus 5

It was actually minus 4.8, or so the thermometer told us as we piled on oversized anoraks, 2 pairs of gloves and ugg boots. While we waited in the fur lined corridor for our chance to enter the largest freezer in Australia, the temperature inside those anoraks soared to record highs and we discovered why Australians favour singlets and thongs.

They keep the temperature low by special airlock type doors as you enter. We were only allowed in for half an hour at a time, I guess they figure hypothermia isn't so cool!
There were these amazing ice sculptures all around the room. Even ice thrones and large cowboys!

They gave us a safety lesson before we entered. They warned us not to drink from the waterfall (antifreeze), hold our glasses with both hands (lest they slip) and always put the drinks on the rubber mats provided (or they could freeze to the table top)


How cool are the glasses? The cocktail you get with your entry fee is a mango/orange/vodka thing. We went on to try others as you can see in the above picture. My favourite was one with absolute pepper, lychee juice, cranberry juice and ginger beer. As we were leaving I found John near the bar eating his glass, obviously the drinks were quite strong (so they didn't freeze) and he felt he needed a spacer (not having water, the next best thing was his glass...I should mention that the glasses were made of ice)

Having a Car Blows

I realise this subject may be a bit heavy for some of you to handle, so just skip to the last paragraph if you are easily upset by superfluous moaning and self pity.

My Car is giving me the shits (I can't remember if profanity is banned from this blog or not) . The litany of expenses the damn thing incurs is ridiculous. Apart from costing me around $60 a week to fill up with petrol, there is oil, tires, coolant, random light globes that only come on when no one is around (but the mechanic seems to be able to find and charge for) and countless other obscure (read expensive) and complex (read expensive) components that are all timed to fail when it is least convenient.

"Why" you ask, "has Matt waited so long to unburden himself bout this subject?" Well, last Thursday, some random junkie scum smashed 2 that's right, 2 windows in my car to steal my work backup hard disk. Now admittedly, this f@#kwit didn't know that the thing he stole was worth next to nothing to him, his friendly fence or anyone except for me and my company. What he did know is that he couldn't smash his way through the front passenger window, so after destroying it, he went around the other side to smash in the driver's side back window. Luckily insurance reduced my payout to $500 to fix the damage.

Then my brakes go rubbish. And I need a pink slip for Rego. Another $540. The freakin mechanic doesn't have EFTPOS facilities so I've been forced to brave the Prospect Hotel to get him cash. My registration is $260. CTP $365. I'm broke. I'm going OS in 2 months.

So anyway, feeling refreshed, I'll be starting up a charity. Please donate beer and consolation. Donations are not tax deductible, but I may vomit on you if you are generous enough. Thank you...the end

Chinese New Year 2006

The Chinese New Year Celebrations are approaching fast.
Is anyone interested in doing something to celebrate? Possibily the 28th of Jan?

New Feature: Restaurant review...Jazushi

I thought it might be time to start up a restaurant review section. I know most of us eat out on a pretty regular basis, so I thought it would be good to share some of the gold that we find.

Our lastest gold is a little Japanese/french restaurant. It is located at 145 Devonshire street Surry Hills, just up the hill from Strawberry Hills hotel. We found it by chance (which was lucky) and bookings are pretty essential, even if you just phone the afternoon of the day you want dinner. There is a great little bar upstairs which is semi outside and is decorated like a japanese garden/temple.


Downstairs is the actual restaurant which is fairly simply decorated. The walls have posters of jazz musicians and some album covers etc. There is an exception however and that is the wall on the left as you walk in. It has a giant enamaled picture of a young girl's head with her hair in plaits. The end of each plait has a demonic teddy bear head...rather weird...not at all like anything else in the restaurant, but interesting never the less....Flit especially liked the gimp teddy head.



The food was great....the menu is set up like a tapas menu, you order a number of smallish dishes to share, they recommend 2 or 3 per person, but we found that 4 between the two of us was perfect. The dishes were all different enough so as not to get boring. We started with a shredded beetroot salad, then had some tempura with gorgeous herb coated chips, then came the obligatory sushi plate....very fresh and soft with fabulous wasabi. We finished the mains with a simple but very tasty teriyaki chicken. While the food was not unusual, it was well prepared and quite satisfying. The dessert kicked butt. We both got the Chocolate brulee, the most delicious brulee I've had in a long time....big call I know, but it was so fine I practically liked the ramekin clean!

Now while the food and decor were lovely, the final touch was the misic. This place seems to thrive on live jazz. They advertise a myriad of local and international jazz artists (not knowing much about Jazz I can't comment of how good the selection was) but the night we were there they had a duet playing who sang Ella Fitgerald, Fats Domino and other popular tunes I can't indentify by name. It was a great little trendy, fun and comfortable retaurant. Expect to pay about $60 per person with alcohol included (No byo on Fri to Sat, $4 corkage on Tues-Thurs, closed Sunday and Monday dinner). I give it about an 8 out of 10. Would love to take some of you there one day, otherwise its well worth a look by yourselves.

In the wake of ugly French dog's death...

Our new masot!!

Alas, little Cy too, has gone to the giant warm lap in the sky.

John and Shari's Christmas Vacation, Version 1

Ok yes it is overdue. We had two camera's with us and I only have the pictures from one of them with me at work (the crappy one) so I'll do one quick one from here and do another - better - one from home when I get round to it.

So we started in London to see Shari's Sister (Kylie) and her flat where we enjoyed the bright lights of Reading, and a trip into London to see Sally for a couple of very cool pubs and some lovely spanish food.

Then to Manchester over night to see two Cousins and their brand new Kids ;) on the way to my Grandpa's house (picture below) to see the rest of the Family (Mum's Side)

After that we started 'our bit' Switzerland, Verona and Venice.
In Switzerland we woke to a beautiful view,

The first day we spent at top of Europe, -11 degrees with a strong wind. Man it's expenive to go up there ($300) but it was a perfect day and well worth it, where I got to play with snow for the first time (Shari will show you the embarasing photo's of me enjoying it a bit too much I'm sure)

Day two was a tobogining and it started snowing very heavily. They do have a 15km run but the heavy snow had closed it. So we settle with a smaller one (that still took us most of the day). This was definitely the most fun, scary and beautiful day. Disappearing into shoulder high snow and off the edge of hills on tiny paths surrounded by trees.
Day three was skiing. The weather, if anything, was worse, really heavy snow. So most of basic runs were closed which we found out the hard way by spending half the day traveling up two mountains to find a run we could do. In the end we were so tired we only got a few runs in but it was alot of fun. Below is a pause in the snow, so we could see the trees out the window of the gondla.

Then we were off to Verona to get there in time for Shari's Birthday. The highlighted were the Arena (from 50AD) which you can still walk all over, it's quite weired to think off all the people that have died down on the stage.
And all the Romeo and Julie stuff. This is Shari under 'juliets' balcony (yes we know it is just a story but for the sake of tourist dollars they all go along with it like it was fact). In reality I heard it is an Inn from the 14th Centry.


Then to Venice, which is both beautiful and stinky. There we walked, ate, drank then walked, ate, drank then walked, ate, drank then walked, ate, drank then walked, ate, drank. We bought some nice glass and floated round the canels and sampled all the local produce and ... bottle of water 2-4 Euro, 1/2 a litter of wine 1.4 Euro, it's much cheaper to get drunk than hydrated. Our hotel here was funny. We had Canel views, which mean that with our windows open you could give people on the street a high five and people on the bridge a kiss on the check. And the lobby was by far and away the stinkiest place we found in Venice, I would be surprised to see an open sewer if you lifted up a rug. but it was cheap.


italy all in all is very nice, but the people...... you have to fight for everything. If you think your in a queue, forget it. If you are not pushing your way past to the front you are going to be waiting there forever. Getting out of planes is fun. You know when they land and everyone gets up to get their hand luggage, then you wait for the doors to open. yes you should wait because there is nowhere to go. Watching people push past everyone to the closed doors... interesting. They are some of the most pushy people I have every met. I love stero types, there such a time saver.

For Christmas we were at Shari's Mum and Dads house in Brussels (Shari's Mum and Dad with us at the local markets).

with her brother (Dean) and Sister (Kylie), at Shari's parents house on the couch.

where we enjoyed too much food (This one is in Bruge, a big pot of mussels each watching extremely heavy snow fall onto the main square)
and snow (A walking track a few minutes away from Shari's Mum and Dad's house). I'm definatly not used to snow and ice. I think I slipped over at least once a day.

For New Years, as you all know by now, we headed to Paris to spend it with Jen and Alex. Were we enjoyed the sites (thanks Jen) and saw my Aunt and Cousin and his 3 kids. New years was Fantatstic. It was on of those times when you go off plan and something weird and lots of fun happens. I would have never guessed I would be dancing in the new year with a male belly dancer and a drunk scottsman in a tiny french-north african restraunt but it was heaps of fun.


That's about it. I'll put some of the better photo's up soon.

Since we're looking back......

I know, I know, I know! This is old news, but I just got the photos and felt I should mark the occaison properly.

As you all know my company rewards its employees by an end of year trip/Christmas party/tax right off. In 2005 we went to Cairns.

On the 7th December my mate Sylvia picked me up bright an early and we drove to the airport. After checking in, we wandered around a much reduced sydney domestic airport. Finally we got on that plane....all 150 Sydney employees, and made a very loud and probably rather annoying journey to the hottest of hot cities in the north of Queensland. When we landed it was about noon and 35 degrees hot!

After shuffling along queues full of merckies we were handed our hotel room keys and our spending money. The money envelope had $195 in it to be used for dinner on Wednesday, Lunch on Thursday and anything else we so desired. Of course the tax right off part was a 4 hour business session where Mikey Robbins took the piss out of our director team, we scoffed ice creams and played trivial games with Larry Emdur. After much cash and prizes were given out we were allowed to leave and headed into town for some dinner.

Australia is a great place for seafood and Cairns is no exception, the nightclubs however, leave much to be desired! Imagine 500 sunburnt poms drinking WAY too much liquor and dancing half naked in a room the size of an average living room...add to that 300 merkies on a company funded holiday with managers credit cards behind the bar and you've got one helluva mess! A fun mess, but a mess never the less.

The next day we grabbed our towels and room keys and headed to the pool....we lay in the sun, we ate yummy calamari, we sipped extravagant cocktails and had the obligatory hand stand competition. What a lovely day! we popped out around noon for a small shopping trip where skirts, shoes, pjs and jewellery were bought with our merck money. That evening was the gala dinner.

Now merck gala dinners are a huge affair. Many people hire costumes and lug them to the event, others get creative and then there are the lazy bums who don't get in the spirit. This year the theme was Enchanted Forest so needless to say there were about 200 fairies and 50 wizards, we also had 5 smurfs (complete with full body paint!), a peter pan or two, some elves and gnomes, and a managing director in an hawaiian shirt??!! It was all fun and games and then Bjorn Again rocked the house...I say rocked, but I really mean sang loads of tacky songs that everyone (yes everyone) got up and had a dance to!


The next morning was one spent by the pool, relaxing and cooling down till we all boarded a bus for the airport. Problems hit at the terminal when Virgin announced the plane was too small to accomodate us so could anyone volunteer for a later flight? After much negotiating about 15 of us opted to get bumped in exchange for $300 in flight vouchers from Virgin. Not a bad days work....2 hours later we were on a plane and each of us were $300 richer.

Can't wait till this December.....I guess they'll tell us where we'll be heading soon. I'm hoping for west coast. Fingers crossed.

Seems so long ago

My ‘to do’ list is looking pretty dull today, so instead of needlessly adding more comments on the Moonlight cinema choice (I think I've had my say), I thought I might strike out with a post of my own on what is looking like an already Sarah-saturated month.

It so happens that I have a few pics from Christmas with me so that’s what you’re going to get! Perhaps you will find random photos of me and mine completely irrelevant but I only hope to inspire others to make more interesting posts than my own, thus lifting the tone of the blog again for 2006.

Here you can see Santa and I preparing our little pig-leg while struggling with the 'fully-equipped' kitchen at our mini rented cottage at Wentworth Falls. We did a bourbon glaze and feasted on the yummy little beast for the next two weeks.
Yes, I prefer PJs on Christmas morning, still.

Here we see the festivities kicking off with our 'laid back' lunch. The crip was unable to lift a finger this year so it was a Pa & Sarah effort and though a departure from our traditional extravagant spread, I must say we didn't do too badly!

Sarah's pud, mk II, went down well, despite the lumps of cooked egg floating around it in Heath's stirred custard, mk I.

We were in no state for driving by Christmas afternoon, after hours of Pimms, bubbly and Pentanque, but the next day we went here... And there was much larking about...

Before leaving the blue mountains, we had a big cooked breakfast in the Megalong Valley and here is Becci about to commence. See, she summons the courage of wild bears.
She managed to eat her whole meal. Hard core. They had funny little dogs at the cafe. Buzz liked it too. The end.

Moonlight Cinema

The moonlight Cinema is on again. Does anyone fancy going to any?
Program is here


Donnie Darko?
Napoleon Dynamite?
Russian Dolls?

Strike Three

And I thought I could get away with counting Ma’s two leg fractures from her boating fall as separate incidents. It seems ‘the rule of threes’ thought better and gave us the horrific events of Jan 2 to teach me so.

After the heat and wind fuelled grass fires licking the fence lines of Quidong on Sunday, Ma, Pa, Matt and I set off in the 4WD to survey the fire damage from the top of the big hill. Half way up the steep and windy fire trail we stopped to clear fallen timber from the track. ‘The crip’ was left in the front seat of the parked and breaked vehicle.

One tree shifted and the able bodied staggered on another 20m or so to the next fallen tree. We were just sizing up the job when we heard a yelp and turned to see the ute gently rolling backwards along the road, straight for the hairpin bend and 10m sheer drop. What was to follow was a few seconds of the most terror I have ever felt as I watched the ute flip and tumble down the embankment. I heard myself screaming but don’t remember the terrified pelt towards the wreckage of the now stationary vehicle, perched on its side about 2m down the embankment, resting heavily on a stump.

There was no response to my desperate shrieks to Mum and I was totally bereft as I rounded the wreckage to find a still, grey & bloodied woman hanging up-side down from one of the smashed out windows.

A murmur and a flutter of eyes was the most welcome sight and suddenly I was at the top of a rise on the phone to 000.

From then an eerie calm descended. Dad & Matt took the decision to move Mum from the wreckage lest it continue its decent or the leaking fuel prove further danger. Matt and I spoke quietly to my confused and groggy mum, trying to keep her from slipping into unconsciousness while Dad went to meet the 4WD ambulance and direct them to the scene.

The two ambos were wonderful. They were calm and constantly talked us through what they were doing. Hours drifted by and Mum was moved onto a stretcher, was medicated and braced in case of spinal injury. The decision was taken that she should be airlifted out and a helicopter was cued. More than 6 hours after the crash, the ambulance moved her up the track to a suitable clearing, an team of grey suited crewmen, paramedics and a doctor landed and my poor mother was finally swinging above the trees up into the chopper that would whisk her off to Canberra hospital.

Back at the house, we finished with the police interview and phoned Heath. By a wonderful coincidence, he was passing through Canberra and was at the hospital before she even landed. He was able to pass on the news to us that no major spinal or head injuries were found and no further damage had been done to her broken leg. Concussion, a large cut on her head, a sprained back and dozens of scrapes and bruises was the best news we heard all day. Dad and I were able to head out and cut a few more fire breaks before a late dinner, prattling conversation in relieved delirium and a heavy dreamless sleep.

Happy Easter Everyone!

That's right, the christmas decorations are down, and sundry easter treats are already available in supermarkets across NSW. Suzy and I came across them on the 2nd of January, and on the news we heard someone saying that they saw them on New Years Eve in the Gong.

Now we have three or four precious precious months of Cadbury Cream Eggs and Hot Cross Buns to fill the cold and empty mince-pie shaped hole left in all our hearts that comes with the end of the Christmas period.

If only someone would invent a seasonal treat to tide us over the mid-year period between Easter and Chrismas! I demand Halloween treats in the stores by June at the latest!

Come, brothers and sisters, and march with me for snacky glory!

2006 means Back to Work

2006 promises to bring many new and exciting times, but going back to work really doesn't rate that highly with them. I'm currently housemate-less (one is in Tumut and the other has gone traipsing off with her siblings somewhere in Sydney) and working from home. It was all very quiet here as I sat in front of the computer reading millions of emails that all seem to be dated 23rd Dec. My email has just gone down so now I sit in front of the blog to fill you all in on my glorious 10 days off.

Obviously Christmas day was the first event, great day with all the family (except Paul who was stuck in Melbourne working) and all the grand kiddies unwrapping presents like there was no tomorrow! Kids are the best on Christmas day! After the obligatory water fight and waaaaaaaaay to much food, we headed to Balmoral to meet some friends and join them in the remains of their orphan festivities (all kiwis with no familys here). Finally late in the night we stumbled home to an enormous cheese platter and promptly fell into bed.

Boxing day came and went with a trip to the beach and more food in the shape of a BBQ. As the days kinda merged into each other (with no appointments to keep and hence nothing to mark the passing of time) my new nephew was baptised, we continued to make regular beach trips, we held our own bbq, we farewelled Nero (heading to England...brrrrr), we shopped in the sales, we cooked, we ate out, we visited friends, we watched the bushfires and we welcomed the new year from a hill in Cremorne and wonderful fireworks over the harbour. On New years day we died from the heat and managed to drag ourselves to the beach at 7pm (it was still 42 degrees). Yesterday we relaxed and prepared for the back to work bombshell with a trip to manly for lunch and a stroll down the corso.

I can't believe how much fun I've had these last 10 days!

Now it's back to the grindstone, to call on clients, file reports and deliver on objectves. Life was never meant to be easy, but if you all had holidays as wonderful as mine then I guess life ain't so bad!