2005 A year in review

Who knows what the time before the SRF blog held? Those frail moments of silvery time slipped casually through the fingers of those who prefer to keep a fluxing detail-free memory. Oh sure, there were great trivia moments, movie prequal releases, BBQs, big parties, Tupperware parties, spectacular birthday picnics, the discovery of crepes, new jobs, new positions, uni graduations, endangerments and new love. But who remembers those? For the remaining members of the great Stephen Roberts Foundation, the memory of our collective consciousness starts in September 2005 with the birth of a bouncing baby blog.

Births and Deaths

It staggered into the world with a few old photos and three little rules, (one of which has been highly respected and sustained). It took a week or two (and a little homework) to work out a few kinks in the otherwise well-oiled machine of friendship and brotherly love that is the SRF, and then our little blog was purring!

Back in the early days we saw the rise and fall of three very mortal SRF institutions- Gabby’s word for the day, Gretta’s traffic report and Bryan’s cracker.
In September, our first two SRF events were philosophically opposed to one another- a sugar filled summery picnic to welcome back a story from our childish pasts and a made-of-meat Viking dinner to say goodbye to one of the dearest friends we’ve made as adults (?! post-adolescents) and issue in the winter of our discontented ladies auxiliary.

The nuggets found each other, found a dodgy new home and the ‘pie-chucker’ was born.

Nostrew kept us in the know with the Australian Idol predictions and count down as halfwit after halfwit waved goodbye to their nerry-to-be singing careers. The month wrapped up with a premature but wonderful festival celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ at the home of Richard, Suzy and Santa Claws.

In other births, a shiny new rock is fastened to Gretta’s finger, Francetastic pops up with news from Paris, Ronnie Johns heralds the start of my little brother’s TV career and little Xavier wriggles into Gretta’s life, another cutie nephew to love.

We lost some great things too, to the giant hall-of-fame in the sky - Maxwell Smart, Inspector Gadget, Big Kev and the ugly French dog. RIP.

The Next Three Months

October was a time for camping, car crashes and karaoke. Nick conclusively proved that high pitched whining tones can not be minimised merely by sagging on the floor under a table.

John conclusively proved that he is braver than Matt, who in turn is braver than Richard. But is Richard sneakier than all of us? (SR building singage original survaillance footage- unpublished.)

In November, Kate ‘won’ Idol, Makybe Diva won Melbourne Cup No.3 and the Socceroos qualified for the only true world sporting event (Olumpics aside). Richard got a new job, I got a filling, my Mum broke her leg and Mattess broke with tradition attending the controversial evening of prawns under the shelter of our great bridge- the stark physical divide between the House of Chicken and associated campuses and the lazy buggers on the other side. I believe it was that night that Matten got really really smashed. Anyone remember?

December brought a bevy of sensuous luxuries- cocktails, more crepes, a girls’ night, Gretta’s famed Fruit Mince Tarts. The Bron came back, Jenny went to Sweden and Richard found religion (or just a new favourite menu item). We were treated to more of the curious weekend adventures of the Fligret and the chilly northern travels of the Shohn.

And so ends the great year of 2005. It shakes our hands, takes its coat and hat, eyes off the bottle of Cab Sav it brought that was not opened, and out it goes. In its wake, another year issues in and with it the hope and fear that can only be realised by another 12 months of life for the great SRF.

Over and out.

Happy New Year!!!

Googly eye-guy dies

While money lovers the world over were mourning the death of the world's richest (and ugliest) man, others were mourning the loss of another great ugly human, Vincent Schiavelli. You probably never knew his name, but you sure as hell knew his face, it was one of the most recognisable faces in hollywood. He was in Ghost, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest and so many other movies it is obvious he would do just about anything for a buck. Something I was very surprised to learn was he was also a published cookbook author. The poor morbid-looking bugger died of lung cancer the day after Christmas and will be buried in his home and birthplace, Sicily. RIP

NunBun STOLEN!!!

You may or (probably) may not know this, but there existed (and may still exist, if the theif wasn't too hungry) a CINNAMON SCROLL said to bear an exact resemblance to Mother Theresa.

Around the world last night, households froze in horror as the news spread from city to city: the fabled NunBun of Nashville, USA, had been STOLEN!

'Nun Bun' stolen from coffeehouse
The Associated PressDec. 26, 2005 07:40 AM
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - The Nun Bun is nowhere to be seen.When Bob Bernstein arrived at his coffeehouse to assess the scene of an early Christmas morning break-in, the one thing he noticed missing was the cinnamon bun that bears a striking likeness to Mother Teresa.Bernstein said he believes the culprit is someone angry over the shop displaying the world-famous pastry, which has been preserved with shellac. A jar of money next to the Nun Bun was not stolen.
"They went right for the bun," he said. "Unfortunately I think it's somebody who wanted to take it to destroy it."The Nun Bun gained worldwide attention in 1996 when a customer nearly took a bite of it before recognizing the revered nun in the folds of flaky pastry.The bun was featured on world news programs, "The Late Show" with David Letterman and was even mentioned on episodes of "The Nanny" and "Mad About You."The shop, Bongo Java, sold T-shirts, prayer cards and mugs with the bun's image before Mother Teresa wrote a personal letter to the coffeehouse asking the sales be stopped.

What the Bongo Java cafe of Nashville had to say about the NunBun(tm) before its theft: http://www.bongojava.com/beans.php?content=nunbun

And finally... the bun itself:

Who ate all the pies?

My childhood seems full of millions of small memories, most of them are random events, but every now and then a familiar and prominent memory comes to mind that makes me smile and think back on hot summers and school holidays and of course Christmas at the folks' place.

One of these memories is making little mince pies with Mum in the week leading up to Christmas. Flour covering the benches, sticky fruit mince on my fingers, icing sugar in my hair....I was a clean child...really I was!

This is one memory that will remain and grow in my life as I continue this tradition in my own home. I love the lead up to Christmas with all the cooking and cards and wrapping paper. I think it's just about my favourite time of year.

Thought you all might like to see this years achievement. Unfortunately we don't have wonkavision so you can't try one, but I assure you they taste as good as they look (that is if you are a normal person and like mince pies).


Note to Flit: you will have to WAIT till Christmas day....no sneaking pies when I'm not looking!

Happy Birthday Matt!

Sunny Sundays in the Hunter

As most of you know (ie those of you in Australia) the weekend we have just had was glorious and sunny, and Flit and I thought it was an unmissable opportunity to jump in the car, put the top down and cruise up north to stock up on wine for Christmas!

Of course I'm talking about a trip to the Hunter! Early Sunday morning we rose (some were better at that than others), breakfasted, sunscreened up and off we went. perfect sun and little traffic made the two hour drive very pleasant. We arrived up there mid morning and headed for one of my favourite wineries, Tempus Two.


This winery is run by the eldest McGuigan daughter (of McGuigan wines fame) and is possibly the most impressive structure in the valley. They also have a fabulous Gerwertstraminer which is a great summer quaffing wine and this year we discovered a new Rose worth a mention. We stocked up and hit the road again.

Keith Tulloch is another favourite of ours so on we went to the small wine makers winery to fill our little boot with his glorious Shiraz-viognier. Then on to some scrumptious lunch at Blaxlands where I indulged in steamed prawns and asparagus while Flit had the Gruyere and onion tart. YUM!

Now we were all fuelled and watered we decided to visit Keith's actual winery and luckily caught one of his employees closing for the holidays. She was very kind and took us inside for a quick taste of their botrytis semillon (dessert wine), a few bottles later we headed back out and decided to come home.


A long day in the sun with plenty of wine makes for very tired but satisfied people.

What a great day! I highly recommend it.

Cocktails galore!!

Well the last SRF event of the year has been and gone. Now we turn towards Christmas knowing our SRF duties are complete.

It was Saturday night (17th December) and a gorgeous cast assembled in the Shangri-la hotel at the rocks for the closing ceremony of 2005. There were heels and fabulous jewellery, collars and leather shoes, makeup and blow dried hair, cologne and an annual bath....the SRF were spruced up and ready to party.

The Blu Horizons bar is on level 36 of the above mentioned hotel with the most amazing view over Sydney one could ever have!


Of course the main reason we were there was to sample the famed cocktail menu....when I say sample, I mean sample, as that was just about all we could afford! Cocktails started at about $17.50 for a classic martini and went up to $10,000 for a Blu Diamond Martini (real diamond included and 24 hours notice needed!). We decided to stick with the lower priced end and indulged in fabulously coloured works of art with names like Geisha kiss and Serendipity.


Gotta love seeing Mattes delicately sipping a colourful fruit extravaganza!

After the Cocktails burnt massive holes in our wallets we moved on to cheaper beverages, but kept the glorious views by stopping in at the Opera bar. How much do I love Sydney! The city just gives such a fantastic backdrop to any night out! Pity these two got in the way of the view....


As with any good night out, things ended with the obligatory Maccas stop...keeping with SRF tradition there are no photos of this part of the night!

Merry Christmas everyone.

Progress Report....

I got a spare 10 minutes (oder Zen Minuten*) so I thought I'd give everyone a quick update. We have been through England and seen all the people, drank in the bright lights and sights of Reading (and the lakes district) and we ate and drank too much. Now we are on our bit of the holiday. It's our last day in Grindelwald in Switzerland where we have tobogganed* and skied across two hugh mountains. I'll post the pics when I get home but here's a preview. This is one of them. I thinks it's called Eiger. (It's the view from our hotel window too!)


We have a beautiful hotel, http://www.kreuz-post.ch/ and OK weather. It was perfectly sunny the first day so we went up the top to the "Top of Europe" to check out the view. And it has been snowing heavily since so skiiing has been very good but scary. You know whats in the next 20 meter but after that it anyones guess.

I'll say hello again soon when I have a chance but a cheese fondu* is calling me for dinner.
Shlaft sie gut*
John


*probably spelt wrong

NEWSFLASH: NUGGETS VALUABLE! (House of Nugget rejoices)

Well, things down here in Ballarat are just about normal... plenty of rain and sun in the one day, and random discoveries of gold nuggets aplenty.

Taken from the front page of The Courier (the Ballarat newspaper):

A BALLARAT man will have a merry Christmas after finding eight gold nuggets worth more than $50,000 in bushland near Scarsdale. One nugget weighed in at 1.1kg and another seven were found in the patch measuring about 75cm.
The man, who wanted to remain anonymous, discovered the gold over the past three weeks in shallow ground in a former mining area south-west of Ballarat. He is a member of the Ballarat Prospectors and Miners Association and among 250 prospectors in the area .
Mining Exchange Gold Shop owner Cordell Kent said the gold was of a high quality and would be worth more than $50,000 as nuggets.
"Even some very successful prospectors have never found a nugget this size," Mr Kent said. "It's stunning."
"We'll display it in the shop until Christmas and then it will be sold to collectors."
The gold was found by the experienced prospector using a hand-held metal detector. Mr Cordell said he expected a rush of interest in prospecting following the discovery. "A lot of people believe that the gold ran out in the 1800s, but this shows that it didn't," he said.
"The goldfields still produce gold every day and people just need to be lucky and work carefully and seriously."
The largest nugget has already been named the Golden Triangle in honour of Ballarat's golden history. Mr Cordell said the gold was of a high quality, with nuggets found around Ballarat typically 97.5 per cent pure.
He said the prospector was thrilled with his discovery.
"He was pretty stoked. "
"It's a good year's wages for a prospector."

The thing that I find the funniest is that some guy searching with one of those hand-held metal detectors actually found something valuable!

Saturday Night

LAST SRF EVENT OF 2005
When: Saturday 17th December
What: SRF Chrissy Drinks
Where: Blu Horizon Bar, Shangri-La

We'll meet at 8pm. Note: Drinks here are a little (lot) pricey so we'll probably stay for no more than two before moving on to the toaster building. It may be a good idea to call if you're late, to check where we are. Sneakers won't get you in. SMARTEN UP YOUR ACT!

South of the border... Down Mexico way...

Cheerio all, I'm heading southward to my Mexican homeland this afternoon for Christmas. I didn't get a chance to see everyone before I head off, so I must take this opportunity to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year as well, as I won't be back in Sydney until early January.
And so it is that I say....
"Ho Ho Ho. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

Never make a deal with the devil...

Saturday night saw a splinter-group of Stephen Roberts hit Wentworth Park with gusto, and there was much screaming and gnashing of teeth had by all.
In order to recover from this, it was decreed that Crepes at Wollstonecraft were definitely ON for young and old. We chose not to invite any extremes of young OR old, but the thought was there from the beginning and that's really all that counts.
Foolishly, prior to the evening in question, MattS had agreed to attend this morning fiesta in order to make sure that I (MattN) would show my bespectacled face at Wentworth Park. Little did he know that HE WAS MAKING A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL!!! For the next morning, he would wake to find himself CURSED with the horror of the HANGOVER!!!
Ah, the folly of the weak mind.
Thus, upon the rise of Sunday morn, the members of assorted campuses of the House of Chicken made their way to the sumptuous gardens of Wollstonecraft Station. True to his word, MattS also did the honourable thing and forced his sorry arse across that long, long bridge to the North. For this noble effort, he was rewarded with the greatest hangover cure known*: The Breakfast Crepe. Other members of the contingency enjoyed various delights of both the sweet and savoury domains, and there was much merriment and singing of christmas carols**.


Everyone attempts a big smile, despite the relatively early hour***


Flit is captured poised and ready, intently concentrating, wound up like a steel spring, about to steal Marg's newspaper****.

Through the stormy haze of his hangover Matt attempts the Goodweekend's SuperSudoku.


Through the stormy haze of his hangover Matt realises that all his attempts are in vain, and hangs his head in pitiful sorrow.


And thus, that was it.... my very first crepes experience.

* perhaps not quite true, but it's not an all out lie
** not necessarily kind to the ear
***12:00pm, a miserable failure
****kids puzzle section

The GGNRD

In a world first, the Stephen Roberts Foundation Ladies Auxiliary and associates final girls’ night for 2005 is being reported for all the world to see. Ordinarily the goings-on of such occasions are kept strictly private but with our esteemed cofounder Jenny now safely seconded on her undercover assignment to seek up-to-date intelligence on French-fabulousness for the cultural betterment of the SRF Ladies Auxiliary, it seems only fair to report back to her with our latest carrying-on. Lucky(?) for the rest of you.

The GGNRD was convened for the last time for 2005 and the girls responded to the call in fine form, assembling for duty at the Hilton’s Marble Bar for first drinks and polite catch-up.

Margaret decided that despite her anxiety at having our first GN sans Jenny, she would put on a brave face and try to enjoy herself.

With formalities out of the way, we ascended the Hilton monolith a few floors to the very swanky Zeta Bar. While languishing on a giant circular couch in front of an enormous, heat-free fire place, we compared the clownish ‘creations’ adorning the more svelte socialites who teetered around us.

As money is no object for the likes of us, none of us batted an eyelid at the $18.50 it cost for a G&T and a Sav Blanc, not to mention the $28 for the two glasses of champagne the Niks quaffed. In fact, our decision to leave had nothing to do with none of us being able to afford another drink. We just didn’t find the place all that fun… that’s all.

After a bit of wandering of the streets and rejection at places either closed or closed for functions, we subjected ourselves to the 333 bar and found a table, some modestly priced drinks and some traditional dance music. And chips. Thanks Nicole.

The Brons finally cut the shy routine and posed for a portrait.

333 proved to be a pretty hospitable location for us and we threw off our guarded and polite facades to reveal the lovely sparkling things we are.

The Niks get very sparkly!

Lady 1 politely takes self portrait with Lady 2. The very visions of decorum.

One smirk from Suzy and Gabby got all giggly.

Capers continued at the mighty Forbes but as numbers dwindled, time came for the obligatory trip to Maccas. (No photo evidence exists for those moments of greasy, brightly lit gluttony.)

After a quick bite and some spectator sport (Oh Fuck you mait. Ooa. Fuck you, poofta) we headed to the capital of 3am drinking in Sydney to bellow along with the classic hits and watch the beginnings of new love unfold all over the 'dance' floor.

A fine night, fitting of such esteemed ladies.

Till next time, your Stephen Roberts Foundation Ladies Auxiliary and associates GN correspondent reporting.

Over and out.

Sonnet- To Workflow

Shall I compare thee to a wet week?
Thou are much slower and less temperate.
Minutes it may take, a CPAMs email seek
And even Word can make us desperate.

Sometime with mercy, the will of IT shines
But often is their kindly temper dimmed
And every application sometime declines
By chance, or IT’s changing course untrimmed.

But thy eternal torture shall not fade
Nor loose possession of that time thou owest,
Nor shall speed brag thou fall victim to upgrade,
Though our complaining lines to helpdesk growest.

As long as men can breath and eyes can see
So long you’ll take, and take my time with thee.

Latest Arrival

At 8.35 pm on Saturday December 10th 2005 two very excited families welcomed little Xavier James to the world.

My sister Jane had her second baby boy and instantly I'm in love!



He weighed 9 pounds 12 ounces (that's 4.425kgs for the metric lovers), has loads of black hair and the softest skin ever. I know I'm biased and we all know that babies pretty much all look the same for the first few months, but I thought I'd introduce him to you all anyway. Below is a shot of my two boys together.


Awwww! ain't they cute!

Constant Excitement Proves Fatal

Goodnight, sweet prince.
Goodnight.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/big-kev-dies-of-heart-attack/2005/12/06/1133829572186.html

8 in 12 or... As if I wasn't in enough trouble with Margaret

Ok, not actually anything to do with 8 in 12, but John made me promise I would start my next blog post with it.

How come I keep missing stuff like this? I obviously don't read enough of those news websites.

With the insidious push to introduce "Intelligent Design" (the theory that life on earth is too complex to happen by accident, and therefore had intelligence and intent behind it, i.e. god) alongside Evolution in American Schools by George Dubya, someone has responded in a way that noone was really expecting, and can't really defend against effectively.

Bobby Henderson, an american physics student, wrote an open letter to the Kanas School Board asking them to include the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as part of their curriculum, which he proposed as an alternative theory of "Intelligent Design". His argument was that this was as valid a theory of intelligent design as any other, and deserved equal time in the classroom.

Needless to say, they weren't too thrilled, and one board member responded that it is a "serious offense" to mock God, just in case anyone was in doubt that they mean "Christianity" when they say "Intelligent Design". Equally needless to say, something like this can catch on in the internet so fast you won't know what hit you, and the "Church of the FSM" (or Pastafarians) has spread like wildfire. People have built up this whole mythology around the FSM, and someone has gone so far as to offer a $1 Million Dollar prize to anyone who can prove that Jesus is not the son of the FSM (although in fairness, this is a satirical response to a challenge made by Ken Hovind about empirically proving evolution, Jesus doesn't actually factor into the FSM "religion" and the challenge was issued by a third party).

Here is a picture of the "Intelligiently Designed" theory of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. As you can see, he started off by creating a mountain with trees on it, and a midgit.

Ultimately, I think it is funny, but fairly harmless. I don't agree that this is mocking Christianity or peoples beliefs as such, this is all aimed squarely at a tactic to teach christianity in schools and present it as science. There really is nothing to show that the Flying Spaghetti Monster shouldn't be taught in school alongside other "Intelligent Design" theories, beyond the fact that it is clearly made up (but you can't prove it was made up). It raises the question about whether they intend to teach other religious creationist beliefs, or just christianity, and I don't think anyone has really answered that question satisfactorily.

For those interested in reading a bit more about it, here is the Wiki guide. There is also a FSM Game, and a bunch of other stuff like hate mail received and wallpapers to download (WWFSMD?) on the main Church of FSM Website.

Past, Present and Future Travel.

I thought it was about time again for me to contribute. I have been busy traveling so here are some photo's of what I have been up too the last few weeks.

Two weeks ago it was a Thursday night trip to Perth. Friday I spent wandering around and taking the ferry out to Fremantal. Saturday was Jason and Ruwani's Wedding (Jason is a childhood friend of mine for those that don't know)
Here is Dad, Mum and Tom at the Wedding. The rest of the people you don't know or care about so I won't put you through lots of pictures




From there I flew straight to Singapore to teach a class of what I do for a living (programming)

Here is My hotel room (yes exciting isn't it)


Orchard Rd is always open so in the evenings I did a lot of Shopping. For those that haven't been there before, it is Crazy. Millions of people and millions of shopping centers. You walk into any of them and they are all at least 5 stories tall and most also go below ground aswell. I got lost underground once and couldn't find my way up and out. When I finally saw outside I was on the forth story of a building, a few streets away from the main road.

And they bought me a Hot black Coffee one day... yes in a plastic bag with a straw, this is the norm there but it gave me a laugh.

And this is the tracks and one of their robots on the ceiling of the hospital where I was working. The robots transport medical records round the building. I didn't get to see it but there are also these Huge caterpillar ones in the basement that walk around. If you stand if their way they stop and tell you to move, always a laugh.


Once Home, we had Nikki (my old flat mate) and Mark Wedding, in the Blue Mountains.

And we are off next Wednesday... our future plans, so you know when we get back and you can start having social functions again ;)

7th - 8th Dec Fly to Belgium.
9th - 14th Dec England
14th - 18th Dec Switzerland
18th - 21st Dec Verona
21st - 23rd Dec Venice
23rd - 30th Dec Brussels
30th - 3rd Jan France - NYE with Jenny and some Vineyards afterwards
3rd - 9th Jan Brussels
9th - 10th Jan Back to Sydney.

We'll try and put some pics up as we go.