Hello, good evening and welcome to the Wednesday Dad Joke.
Due to some unforeseen broadcasting complications there has been a delay with the scheduled programming.
We apologise for these delays and hope to have a resumption of normal service soon.
And now for the Dad joke of the week. The SRBC (SR Broadcasting Corporation) can take no responsiblity for the quality of said joke.
A giant panda enters a restaurant.
He sits down, orders a meal, eats it, and then asks for the bill. Just as the waiter approaches, the panda jumps up, pulls out a gun, shoots the waiter, and walks out of the restaurant.
Fortunately, the waiter was only grazed by the bullet, and upon arrival of the police he was able to recount the situation to them.
As soon as he had finished, the one of the policemen removes a pocket Oxford Dictionary from his pocket, and says:
"You should have known to be more careful, mate. Look, it says right here:
PANDA - a large mammal that eats shoots and leaves."
And here is this week's bonus joke.
A guy goes to Australia Post to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?"
"Yes," he says. "I was in Vietnam for three years."
The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then asks, "Are you disabled in any way?
The guy says, "Yes 100%...a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."
The interviewer tells the guy, "OK, I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 A.M."
The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 A.M.?"
"This is a government job", the interviewer says.
"For the first two hours we stand around scratching our balls...no point in you coming in for that."
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