Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Onion

Hey I noticed 'theonion' made our useful links section so I thought I'd share a few pricless headlines from the newspaper with you to sell it properly.


Rapidly swelling man may contain traces of peanuts.
Christian Led Down Path To Iniquity By Yahoo! Search For Bush-Trimming Tips
Employee Of The Month Sad It's Already The 19th
Weekend With Boyfriend's Parents Explains A Lot
Chess Supercomputer Beaten Up By More Popular Computer
Marijuana Linked to Sitting Around and Getting High
6-Year-Old Announces Plans To Become Ballerina Gymnast Veterinarian Horseback-Riding Princess
134-Year-Old Man Attributes Longevity To Typographical Error
God Proclaims Raspberries 'Now Even More Berrilicious'
Man Not Exactly Sure Why Doctor Needed Him Undressed For That
Despite Claims, Long Story Not Made Short
Hamburglar Urges Senate Subcommittee To 'Robble Robble Robble'
Family Feud Continues Years After Game-Show Appearance
Ethics Panel Slides Back To Reveal Hot Tub
Free-Thinking Cat Shits Outside The Box
Bacon Good For You, Reports Best Scientist Ever

If you like the headlines, have a look at the articles.

Of course they have some bad ones, this week ->

Philippine Mud Wins In Landslide.

3 comments:

Flit said...

Oooh so that's what this companies web filtering software looks like, apparently I can apply to have this site taken off the banned list - I'll have to think up a valid reaon now.

Sarah said...

Does anyone else find these headlines even funnier when they imagine John reading them out?

Matt said...

I'm pretty sure John suggested the onion be in the useful links section in the first place. I'm starting to think he is getting some kind of kickback for this.

And yes it is funnier if you imagine john saying them.