Kith and Kin

Well there are no boobies in my post this week, except for the two very ordinary (non-Jessica-alba-ish) ones I carry with me all the time...but there are loads of gorgeous children!

On the weekend my parents held an October birthday festival. Seeing as we have so many October birthdays Mum thought it would be a very good idea to combine them all into one day....My sister-in-law, Kim, is on the 17th, then me on the 20th, then my little bro, Paul, on the 24th and my little nephew, Max, rounds it out on the 27th. It was a great day I must say. There are now 4 grandchildren in my family and each one is as cute as a button ( I may be biased, but I'm not admitting it!)

I thought I'd share some photos with you all and show you how big they are and just how lovely too. The first is of our newest addition, Billy, he is so calm and poised all the time. It's quite funny to see the other children fuss around him and all the time he sits (or stands) quietly, with a look of intense interest on his face...he is never fazed by anyone, and unlike other children, he will continue as he is even if the house fell down around him. He is a prince among babies...such regal bearing and a calm and steady gaze...



Now comes the princess with her loyal subject. Here we have Abbey reigning over the bubble mixture and lauding her age and therefore superiority over my beautiful little Gus. Now Gus (real name: Michael) is only 18 months yet his princess is nearly 3....ahh the power of genetics. They both stand at roughly equal height and he matches her stubbornness with smiles. Where she is a true princess he is indeed a gentleman...never one to fight over toys or complain of ill treatment he bows to her whims and cheerfully finds other means to occupy himself. Having said these things, our Abbey is sweet and girly...she thinks she is Barbie and when she is sad the mere mention of that name brings a smile. Abbey is the light of my brother's life. She is gentle and kind, she won't step on an ant or pull off a lizards tail.... while the odd tantrum flies, she is generally content to dress and re-dress her Barbies and smudge her Mothers lipstick all over her flawless little face.



Finally I must showcase my favourite. I know I shouldn't have favourites, but when one of the children belongs to a beloved sister, the impulse is too strong to ignore. I would never tell any of them that such is the case, but when reality hits I must admit it. My wonderful little Michael Augustine, the smile, the voice, the intent focus on the goings on around him. To watch him point at a can of cat food and hear the tiny meow fall from his lips is a thing of beauty, when he points at any kind of grill or grate and his little face screws up to form the word "fan" my heart melts, how could any one not love this little boy? The photo you see below was one of many taken on the day as he filled and emptied and refilled his little watering can. The smile never leaving his precious little face.



So now that most of the boys have vomited over my words and many of you girls may even think I have been too soppy and pathetic, I am happy with my small family and I am even happier to share them all with you.

Best Worst Movie Ever.

Suzy and I went to see "Into the Blue" yesterday, since the weather was so lovely we decided a movie might be the way to go. Options were limited, but Suzy insisted we go and see the movie which apparently revolves around Jessica Alba in a small bikini. I am pretty certain those are the exact words used when pitching this film to the executives. I believe the working title was "Non-stop Footage of Jessica's Ass"

Surprisingly, it was actually pretty decent for a sunday afternoon. I have always been an Alba fan, and I don't mind Paul Walker either. Suzy was just there for the gratuitous shark footage (As this is a Hollywood action title, it wasn't enough for a bad guy to be eaten by a shark, it had to be crotch-first) It went down pretty much as expected, with a few surprises here and there, and overall I definitely enjoyed myself.

My rating: 3 1/2 string bikinis

...One Down...

To make richie comfortable: Look what Matt and I painted. It looks just like the original doesn't it.

End of an Era

Another tree falls on the horizon that is the increasingly desolate landscape of television.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/tv--radio/goodbye-australia/2005/10/26/1130302843868.html

Finally!

Finally Apple has opened an iTunes store in Australia. After years of iTunes being available in other countries and long drawn out negotiations with Sony-BMG, Australians can now use Australian credit cards to purchase music online. Of course in the end Sony BMG didn't come to the party, due mostly to not getting enough royalties per downloaded song. You would think some is better than none, but hey, that's probably why I'm not in charge of one of the biggest record companies in the world. As a result (and I know this will upset you Richie) Artists such as Shannon Noll and Anthony Callea will not be available.

So what does this mean to you and me? It means we can legally download a song from the internet that is compatible with an iPod. It costs $1.69 per song and $16.99 per album, which is pretty cheap compared to a full-price cd but expensive if it's a bargain bin jobbie. As a comparison, BigPond normally charges $1.89 per song. For those of you whose guilt at downloading illegal music has been slowly eating you up inside eventhough you feel you were justified because you couldn't legally download stuff for your iPod, here is a chance to assuage your uneasiness.

There are other good reasons for legally downloading music apart from the legal implications and guilt, such as garaunteed sound quality and the availability of hard to find music.

Of course music has been available to download legally in Australia from sources such as BigPond for a while now, but the files available were in a format not supported by iPod. Those files also came with some pretty heavy restrictions as far as CD Burning and copying goes, something the Apple files seem to avoid.

You can find out more from The Herald here and Apple here

In a world gone mad...

Well, much to everyones surprise, Anne Robertson was booted yesterday in a Rikki-lee-esque upset! Everyone was still getting over the shock of seeing her in the bottom three, along with Dan England (who I now pick to win, oh god as long as it isn't Lee!) and Daniel whatshisface (who I had picked to get booted, guess Nosdrew isn't infallable after all, or did I get it wrong on purpose to keep my amazing gifts a secret from the world??! Nah... I suck).

To be frank, I didn't actually watch the Sunday show so I can't really do any more than pass along second or third hand hersay. And here it is! Apparently the show was a bit of a shocker all around, with only a few people providing something close to a decent performance. Ironically it turns out that those people were then rewarded by being placed in the bottom three! The Judges kept on about how Dan England had done his best yet, and even complimenting Daniel blandfeatures on finally getting into the swing of things (better late than never!). It almost doesn't need to be said, but I hear Lee was abominably awful, which sadly means that his lack of appearance in the bottom three suggests he is actually POPULAR, something that boggles my mind.

Of course, the judges ummed and aahhhed about it, but they all expected Daniel blendinboy to get booted, they just couldn't imagine Anne Robertson being kicked out. It was an emotional scene, for everyone EXCEPT Anne who was probably the most gracious and composed person to get voted off Idol that I have ever seen. It goes without saying, Emily took this as an excuse to grab some camera time by bursting into tears, which suggests she is either emotionally unstable or extremely calculating since it always seems to happen when our attention would normally be focussed anywhere except her. There is probably more Idol footage of her crying than there is of her singing.

Anyway, I digress... Anne Robertson is gone, and with her 50% of our hopes for a talented winner of the 2005 Australian Idol. All we can hope for now is that Dan English pulls through, and that Lee is afflicted by some form of high pressure bladder weakness on stage. The sad thing for Dan of course, is that winning this comp is probably the worst thing that could happen to him, since what he would really be suited for is something a little deeper than the soul destroying crap that the Idol winners always end up singing. But unless he gets kicked off soon, he is almost destined to end up doing exactly that.

Another week at the office...

I know, I know. You've all been DYING for me to post a nice long review of my working week in paradise- the sunshine, the picture-perfect beaches, the glorious swimming, the snorkeling. Well, unfortunately for you all, I only took a work camera with me and was unable to capture any illustrations for that side of my holiday. I MEAN WORK.

So as to give you a little taste though...

It began with some real quality time in which I got to know Auckland airport.
On some level, I think we formed a very deep seated friendship.

But on to Rarotonga with all it's natural beauty.

Of course, I was there to work and couldn't spend ALL my time on the beach. It's not like you can sit in a banana lounge with a laptop. You could get sand in it. You might drip salt water onto it after a little dip. I had loads of data entry and meeting notes to get through so I had to set up and work from my room. Here.
Luckily I could set up out at the table on the deck. For fresh air. To help me work.

I investigated quality and availability.

Most essentials were readily available.

Schools are suitable for expats, until highschool.

Work did not stop at 4pm though. At night I had to explore the top local restaurants and see if they deserved their reputations.

I managed one night off. I spent it with Pauline, my resort assigned partner for 'Island Night.' Pauline is 42 and likes cooking, travelling and long walks on the beach. Sadly, I was not her Mr Right.

THE END

Goodbye Stephen Roberts Building!

You'll never guess where the Sydney uni law faculty have decided to build their new law school... Over the Stephen Roberts and the geology buildings of all places!

Mum alerted me to this fact when reading their law newsletter last week. Its the end of an era! Not that we go there anyway, but it's part of our history! I dont understand why, it really is such a beautiful piece of art!


http://www.law.usyd.edu.au/NewLawBuilding/

A study...

In a never-ending quest to learn about the social habits of humans, the SRF is happy to present the findings of a study conducted on the 22nd of October entitled "The effects of Karaoke and Alcohol on Human (and Sub-Human) Behavior" Please enjoy...

The first part of the study shows the effect of other peoples Karaoke on listeners

They seem so normal

But the excitement was too much for some.

Apart from the odd bout of incontinence, the experiment seemed to be going well. However before long, some worrying behaviors started to exhibit in the subjects.


Delusions of talent,


odd sexual behaviors,

cannabalism,

bizzarre courting rituals,

and aggressive posturing.

It didn't stop there. Physical changes began to occur in the subjects...

Including head growths...

and serious facial deformities.

This one got aggressive

And had to be tranquilised.



Once we had the subjects contained in a small room, they settled down to sing some awful, awful Karaoke

This experiment came to a close not long after due to a funding and energy shortage.

The research team has reached the conclusion that Karaoke mixed with alcohol is a highly dangerous cocktail that should only be used in small doses under adult supervision. We do not condone its use in public.

On a personal note, the Author would like to give a shout-out to all his Homies (Word to ya Mother).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARGS!!!

Hope you have a great day!

The horror...

Oh my god the new Merrick and Rosso show is awful... There is really no other word for it, why on earth are these talentless hacks being inflicted on the poor Australian public?

It's all alot of Flip Floppery!

Bet you never thought a thong could tell a story!

Well that's exactly what hundreds of thongs did on the weekend and will do for the weeks to come. As part of Sydney's Art and About festival (I love a free community event!) someone had the bright idea of making an installation out of hundreds of thongs painted by the community. The theme was 'tell your story' and we (by "we" I mean random members of the public) were all encouraged to paint our history..where we came from...our heritage etc on rubber thongs!

Luckily we are able to share our art with you all......While my thong is reasonably easy to interpret, you may like to ask Monsieur Flitcroft for his post-modern-impressionistic interpretation of his fabulous work of art!


These thongs will be carefully crafted into some kind of artistic installation at Circular Quay and remain on display till next weekend. Why don't you all pop along on Saturday and see if you can find our contributions...It'll be fun!...go on...you know you want to!

Behold! Richard 'Nostradamus' Andrew Speaks

The kids could call me Nosdrew...


After another week of startlingly average performances, James Kannis has been voted Australian Idol by the voting public. Seen above in a beautiful fauz-80's ensemble, his moment in the spotlight was robbed by the cry-a-holic Emily who somehow managed to make it all about her by bursting into tears (YET AGAIN!) at the news that she hasn't been voted off yet. To be honest, James had been growing on my the past few weeks, I thought his Big Band performance was excellent, but his 80's song just wasn't good enough.

So, my amazing powers of precognition have once again been highlighted. Irrefutable proof of my spectacular psychic gifts, as you can see from my last post I predicted Jame's departure.

The 80's show was a bit of a letdown I think, all those awesome possible song choices to make, and yet for the most part you wouldn't even have known that the songs they all chose came from the 80's at all! I also can't believe that burke Lee got a touchdown for his comically bad "punk" version of Eye of the Tiger.

My theory is, Mark Holden got in trouble for his vehement critisim of Lee a few weeks ago for not caring about the song he was singing (Holiday by Green Day), and as a result has gone too far in the other direction, praising him regardless of his actual performance. His big band song was just boring, and his 80's song was atrocious and yet somehow he is getting pats on the head for it... Noone should be rewarded for being a one-trick pony, which is what Lee is. What are they going to do when they want him to sing the same pop-trash that they always give the finalists after idol, and he is only capable of cover versions of Green Day/Smash Mouth etc? (Short answer: Unless he wins, and he won't, he won't be getting a record deal - Nosdrew has spoken).

Next week, I think Daniel (non-dreadlocked) will be going, which is a shame because I like him. He just isn't on the same level as some of the others, and I think that it is costing him votes (as it should). I also think Emily's days are numbered, partly because she bursts into tears when anyone speaks to her (regardless of whether it is good news or bad news), and partly because she has no range between Very Loud and Silent. It works for some songs, just not many of them! Coupled to the fact that we have now seen her in the bottom three, and I think its safe to say she will be out in the next few weeks.

And since we are making predictions, I am going to go out on a limb and say I think that Anne Robertson and Dan England will make the top two, with Anne being made the new Idol. Kate is also finalist worthy, but I don't think she can top Anne or Dan. As long as Lee and Emily are both ejected ASAP, I actually don't mind who wins which is kind of wierd for me, normally I have a favorite or two, but this year I just can't bring myself to care enough because none of them are really worth it.

Who wants to be (a friend of) a millionaire

I'm not proud, but due to the abundance of crap TV, I watched who wants to be a millionaire last night where a guy won the million. Afterwards that they showed a party with all his friends and a few said a few words about him and who was amongst them - Jenny's Sister, giving a little speech on the guy. So Jen your sister was on Prime time TV last night. Did anyone else catch it?

My Eventful Monday Morning

Well it was all going well...then I had a car accident.

Thats right, I had my first ever bingle. I was navigating the M4, not paying a huge amount of attention, but keeping my eye on the road and (what I thought was) a respectful distance behind the vehicle in front, when the aforementioned vehicle stopped...dead. I slammed on the brakes but unfortunately my tyres and the wet road decided not to form a meaningful relationship and I slid about 12 metres into the girded rear bumper of a Nissan X-trail. I was shocked, not just because the airbag failed to inflate (stupid German engineering), but because I had no idea what the fuck to do next.





Fortunately the lady I hit was healthy and nice to boot. After forgetting my phone number briefly, I found a business card and we exchanged details. The damage to her rear bumper was minor compared to the front of my car, which showed all the structural integrity of warm butter.

I got halfway to calling the police when I remembered that there is an RTA number you are supposed to call but I had absolutely no idea what it was. Good Nick was able to find it for me, and you should all put it in your phones; 131700. The traffic emergency response vehicle people told me they would be there soon.



So there I was, sitting in my busted up car, in the fast-lane of a two lane motorway, no shoulder on either side to push it to, feeling the intense shame that accompanies holding up peak-hour traffic. Then the police rang. Apparently if you dial 000 ask for the police then hang-up, they call you back to make sure you are ok. Good on them. Anyway they said they were sending someone out and I should sit tight. The RTA turned up after about 30 mins and towed me down the road to an emergency stopping bay. A tow-truck magically turned up about 3 seconds later (I hope someone got their $50 spotters fee) and the tow-truck driver advised me to tell the police that I could drive the car so I wouldn't get a ticket. The cops arrived, the towie had a word to them and I told them I thought I could drive it. They said ok, that I should report it on 131444 when I got home, and drove away.



I got dropped at Flemington Station by the tow-truck driver, caught the train home, dry retched and had a beer (and in so doing fell off the wagon).

The Moral of the story? Please drive safely, especially in the wet. It could have been a lot worse than it was and I'm lucky that everyone involved escaped injury.

Correction....

I have done a little review of my last post on the Noodle markets and have realised I gave you a bogus date.

Please note the new date (I have changed it in the original post too) Wednesday 19th October.

Just a little background to this: I had originally chosen the 25th, thinking Sarah would be back, and seeing as she was very keen, I thought it was the nice thing to do and wait for her to join us. What I didn't count on however is the fact that Clover Moore seems to think that October ends on the 20th! so the noodle markets will be dissappearing on the Thursday of next week and one more visit is definately in order.

For those of you who are willing and able to make the new date, then all other details remain the same...7pm at the bungalow 8 beer tent on Wednesday evening for oddles of noodles.

See you then.

Noodles are SO IN right now...

October is "Good Food Month" according to the Sydney Morning Herald and as such there are myriad events being held round Sydney to celebrate!

The best one I think is the return of the Night Noodle Markets in Hyde Park.

Flit and I took ourselves along on Tuesday for a veritable feast of all things asian. We had such a nice time that I thought it might be something you'd all like to join us in doing on the 25th October?

The Noodle Markets are held Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights from 5pm and we found that most stalls had sold out by about 8pm. Most dishes are about $7-$8, with entrees being cheaper and some things reaching $12. There are also wine/beer tents so designated drivers or public transport is advised.

If you'd like to join us, meet us at the Bungalow 8 beer tent in Hyde park (near the Archibald Fountain) on Wednesday 19th October at 7pm.

I also think our "next srf event" post is becoming rather thin so please people invite me to stuff!

Musical Extravaganza

As most of you know I get excited about most musicals, but this one is extra special. Guettel and Goldman are going to team up to make - Princess Bride the Musical. I thought you'd all like to know ASAP.

http://www.playbill.com/news/article/94526.html

I'm hanging out for "The last starfighter" the music now.

Work travel: good for some...for others?

Ah the delights of travelling for work!

We've all heard from little Miss "I-have-a-great-job-who-sends-me-to-exotic-places-to-shop" Franklin.... well bah I say to sandy beaches and glorious sunshine...bring on the good ole ary for me...the good ole Dubbo RSL that is...


Yes my friends behold the glory of my accomodation for this week. I am staying in the Presidential suite no less. Although I doubt very much if any president has ever stayed in this room (or suite as they like to refer to it). In fact I don't even think the president of the RSL would stay here. Alas for me however, it was the only room at the inn.

Now the wonders of the RSL are not the only things to do and see in Dubbo...
There is an abundance of activities available for the travellers pleasure, but don't listen to me, look at what their premier website has to say about the place...

..."Dubbo City, a city of surprises, home to one of the world’s greatest open range zoos and boasting numerous other delightful attractions.
Dubbo City is perfectly situated right in the centre of New South Wales and within easy reach from most of the eastern interior and seaboard of Australia.
A thriving and prosperous city, Dubbo is home to a rapidly expanding resident population and is well serviced to provide for the half million plus visitors that come each year.
Good food, shopping, entertainment, accommodation and customer service are par excellence. A standard that is demanded of a city but here it is accompanied with a country smile."


Who wouldn't swap a pacific island for good ole central plains hospitality and of course that "country smile"?

Today is...

John Peel day of course, well it is in the UK anyway (and should be in the rest of the world). For those of you who are unaware, he was a legendary dj (in all forms of the term) best known for playing the unplayable (occasionally at the wrong speed), he died suddenly about a year ago and today has been named after him

"Peel's unique standing as a peerless champion of leftfield and independent music will be honoured with more than 300 gigs across the UK. Events are also planned in Spain, Germany, Italy, US, Holland, New Zealand and Canada" - but not Australia eh!


In reading through some of the news articles about this momentus event I found a few trivia bits and quotes that I thought I'd share, such as that he was present at Lee Harvey Oswalds arraignment.


He had over 25000 vinyl albums at the time of his death which required floor strengthening in his house and spent an average 6 to 8 hours per day listening to them. At one time he was accused both of playing too much and playing too little music by black musicians, he resonded...
"Frankly, I listen to music with no concern whatever for the race, colour, religion, preference in breakfast foods, height, shoe size or whatever-you-like of the music makers. The only footling prejudice I do permit myself is this - musicians I suspect of supporting Everton or Arsenal have a bugger of a time getting their ponderous tripe on to the programme." (he was a Liverpool supporter for those of you wondering)


His collection (indexed on cards) was spread across a garage and two sheds - oh to spend just one day in there, I dream !!!









And to those of you bored senseless by this rambling, John would like to say.......

For the Nerds

These are instructions for upgrading a 4Gb ipod Nano to 200GB capacity.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Ipod_Nano_200gb_Instructions

I particulary like the bit at the end that says battery life is adversely affected by this upgrade, and some ipod nano covers may not fit after the modification is made.

Well I thought it was funny anyway.

in fact the http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Page is pretty darn hilarious in itself.

It's like a window into Shari's life...

Hmmm, not as easy to read as I would have hoped. The full versions can be found here and here